trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
