Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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