dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
