What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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