Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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