im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
