The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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