i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
