I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
