just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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