Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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