shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
