Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
