God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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