Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
