She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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