i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
