You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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