he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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