i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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