i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
