She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
