I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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