She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
