This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
