seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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