i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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