Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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