Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
