I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
