I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
