No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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