Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Text me some of your sweat
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
