I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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