No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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