im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
