I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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