i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
