you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
