my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
