Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
