Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
