Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
