Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
