i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
