last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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