why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Floor bacon is actually really good
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
