i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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