i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
ttyl tear gas
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
