No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
