Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
