My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Houston, we have a blender
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
