he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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