I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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