On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
