I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
