he shaved USA in his pubs
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
