pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
