I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
