Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize