another moral hangover. fuck.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
