Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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