Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
nutella sex= disaster
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize