yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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