I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So vagazzling was a success
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
