Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
