She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
