why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize