Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize