Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Vodka?
Forever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
