I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
