So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
