Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
